If we could get overly serious for just a moment: We understand your desire for privacy at several levels:
We will never share any of your personal information, or the fact that you ordered from us, with anyone - not any of it, not ever, not with anyone. We appreciate the trust our customers place in us and will never do anything to compromise that. And when we ship your order, the package won't say what's inside.
All of your order details - your name, address, credit card info, etc. - are encrypted with industry-standard powerful encryption for your security. Your credit card details and other personal information are absolutely safe and secure when you order from us.
We will not spam you. Ever. After you order you will receive an email confirming your order and providing shipping information - and that's it. If you specifically request that we do so, we may from time to time send you an email to notify you of special discounts or promotions we're running, but only if you ask us to - and you can "opt out" at any time. We will never sell, give, loan, or otherwise allow your information to fall into the hands of any other company, person or entity.
Okay, serious stuff over. (Now back to making juvenile dick jokes.)